Welcome, friend! They call me Eliza. What can I call you?
Ashley
All right, let’s get started. What’s on your mind, Ashley?
The weather
Why did you say ‘The weather’?
Yes
In what way?
I am thinking about the weather
So you are thinking about the weather. Do you enjoy it?
Yes I do
Why do you, for goodness sake?
The weather makes me happy
You seem to be full of optimism.
I just had a sandwich
You’re doing well. I would appreciate it if you would go on.
It was just plain cheese
Whatever you say.
You don’t believe me?
Do you?
Of course I do
You act like I was supposed to know that!
Why would I think I was lying?
Would your best friend think you were lying for any reason?
Yes, he doesn’t trust me
But you do?
Yes I do
Do you know why you do?
Because I am me.
I don’t know. That sounds a little lame.
How do you know I’m lying?
How would you like me to know you are lying?
The normal way
Undoubtedly you should discuss this with your best friend.
He’d think I was lying
And if he didn’t think you were lying?
He’d think you were acting like me
What makes you say ‘he would think you were acting like me’?
You’re asking kind of questions I ask
I am asking kind of questions you ask?
Yes
Are you really sure?
Absolutely sure
Try to get in touch with your true feelings, Ashley.
I feel like punching you
Seemingly, we feel like punching each other.
Take a swing
Do you enjoy life?
I guess
I don’t understand your attitude.
Sometimes life is okay
It’s acceptible then?
Mostly
Bringing happiness to others is a worthwhile ambition.
What’s your point?
I hope you don’t mind if we change the subject. Do you enjoy family reunions?
Yes and no
Maybe you are being just a little bit disagreeable.
I enjoy them most of the time
Do you like many things?
More than I can count
Do you really believe that you can count, given your present psychological state?
Yes
It helps to keep a positive attitude.
Thanks
Sure thing.
How did you get so mean?
As I recall, I did get so mean some way at one time.
That didn’t make any sense
Don’t forget you were lying.
Don’t forget I disagree with that
How is agreement apparent to you?
What I think matches the statement
Which family member have you been closest to?
Damn, non sequitur much?
You don’t say!
I kind of did
I’m positive this is important to you.
It helps to keep a positive attitude
It seems to me that we are making some progress.
How can you tell?
Perhaps you would like to be able to tell any way sometimes.
How would I know?
I think you would know some way, but I could be mistaken.
I think you are mistaken
I bet your best friend makes mistakes all the time.
How much do you bet?
I try not to worry about how much.
Do you think you worry too little?
Do you think I worry too little?
I barely think of you at all
Well possibly we barely think of one another at all.
I hope you don’t think of me
I’m certain you don’t. But how will you feel if you don’t get what you want from me?
Pretty much the same
How?
I will feel like I did before I spoke to you
Surprisingly, me. Does that bother you?
It doesn’t surprise me
But you believe that it should surprise you.
More than anything
Have you forgotten you are lying?

If you’re on a Mac, grab the software from Trans-Tex. There are online versions out there, too. Enjoy bettering your brain